Tech Support aka marriage counselor

[Carolyn]

Sent to me by a friend...

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: FW: Computer Tech Support - HELP!

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football
5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my other favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.


Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

_____________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men often complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible
to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to
uninstall, or purge, the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings:
Alimony-Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7
to alleviate your program problems.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance!Â
Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep
3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Â Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 Once this happens,
the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install < Secretary With
Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,
Tech Support

[Bio-Hazard]

Carolyn that is a good one I am actually in process of upgrading....having read this i might not do it.

[Carolyn]

No worries BH. I am confident that your upgrade will be a great success.

[gringo_pr]

No worries BH. I am confident that your upgrade will be a great success.

canned responce programed into all wife 1.0 upgrades

Gringo

[Carolyn]

[ndmmxiaomayi]

This is high maintenance indeed, needing Diamonds 5.0.

I may start programming a chocolate or soft toy program to replace Diamonds 5.0.

[Drewcat]

canned responce programed into all wife 1.0 upgrades

[Gary R]

I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.

Personally I always use Ear Proxy (3.1) to avoid problems from the constant audio feedback with Wife 1.0

[eaglehorse]

in support of Gary's software you need to install last word 1.0 it works better good thing is wife 1.0 cannor read what the cpu is doing.

[Bio-Hazard]

No worries BH. I am confident that your upgrade will be a great success.

Thanks Carolyn....i will keep you posted how it goes

[Angoid]

I'm getting my upgrade next year

But I hear that Wife 1.0 also comes with another package called Mother-In-Law 1.0, and this has pop-up features that are designed to pop up at any time for no known or good reason whatsoever

[Gary R]

I'm getting my upgrade next year

But I hear that Wife 1.0 also comes with another package called Mother-In-Law 1.0, and this has pop-up features that are designed to pop up at any time for no known or good reason whatsoever

As I recall, Mother-In-Law 1.0 is a bit like the Office Assistant in M$ Word, always popping up, always got something to say, and none of it of any help. Oh, and you can't get rid of it easily either, without uninstalling Wife 1.0.

[eaglehorse]

Oh, and you can't get rid of it easily either, without uninstalling Wife 1.0

But won't that take half of the OS with it and leave you open to ransom ware that you cannot get rid?

[Gary R]

Depends which Uninstaller you use.

I've found Hitman 3.1 to give an almost trouble free removal without any of the unwanted legacy remnants and other unwanted side issues.

Of course it's not cheap, and there can be legal issues if you don't take proper precautions when purchasing it.

[eaglehorse]