Diary of a computer lamer
I just tried to connect to America online, which I've heard is the best online service I can get. I can't connect, I don't know what is wrong.
Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am?
I bought the modem, I couldn't figure out where it goes though, it wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused.
I finally got the modem in and hooked up. A three year old next door did it for me.
The three year old kid next door hooked me up to America online for me. He's so smart.
What the heck is the internet? I thought I was on America Online, not this internet thingy. I'm confused.
The three year old kid next door showed me how to use this America Online stuff. He must be a genius at least compared to me.
I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing happened. Maybe I need to buy a microphone.
I found this thingy called Usenet. I got out of it because I'm connected to America Online, not Usenet. I went to the doctor today for my regular checkup. He says that since I connected, My brain has mysteriously shrunk to half its normal size.
These people in this Usenet thingy keep using capital letters. How do they do that? i never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard.
I found this thingy called the Usenet oracle. It says that it can answer any questions I ask it. I asked it 44 separate questions about the internet. I hope it responds soon.
I found a group called rec.humor. I decided to post this joke about why the chicken crossed the road. To get to the other side! ha ha! I wasn't sure if i posted it right so I posted it 56 more times.
I keep hearing about the World Wide Web. I didn't know spiders grew that large.
The oracle responded to my questions today. Geez, it was rude. I was so angry that I posted an angry message about it to rec.humor.oracle.d. I wasn't sure if it posted right so I posted it 22 more times.
Someone told me to read the FAQ. Geez, they didn't have to use profanity.
I just read this post called make money fast. I'm so exited, I'm going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to every newsgroup i could find.
I just made my signature file. It's only 6 pages long, So I will have to work on it some more.
I just looked at a group called alt.aol.sucks. I read a few posts and I really believe that aol should be wiped off the face of the Earth. I wonder what an "aol" is, however.
I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I've looked and looked, but I cant find that group.
Some guy suspended my account because of what i was doing. I told him I don't have an account at his bank. He's so dumb.