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They Walk Among Us!

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They Walk Among Us!

Unread postby MrCharlie » March 7th, 2007, 10:20 pm

I walked into a Blimbie's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free". "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free". She
handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.

They walk among us and many work retail.


A friend of mine bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his
old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying:
"Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge
sat there without even one person looking twice at it. My friend decided
that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be
true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next
day someone stole it.

They walk among us.


One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them
shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and
said, "Where?"

They Walk among us!


While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking
him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When
my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for
sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that

They Walk Among Us!!


I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I
got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was
open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days
a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end
the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

They Walk Among Us!


My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was

They Walk Among Us!


My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a
seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us!


My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us!


I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's
nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head
is turned.

They Walk Among Us!


I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your
plane arrived yet?"

They Walk Among Us!


While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces."

Yep, They Walk Among Us!

They walk among us, AND they reproduce!


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Unread postby MMJ » March 8th, 2007, 5:50 am

LOL, good ones. :D
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Unread postby SoulReaper2 » November 2nd, 2007, 5:01 pm

My wife had our youngest son a couple of months ago. She was in labor but was only dialated 3cm so we knew we were going to be in for a long evening/night, it was around 2pm.

Around 4pm the Anesthesiologist came in to give my wife an epidural. It didn't take long, maybe 10 minutes and she was laying back in bed comfortably when the RN came into the room. They had to unhook my wife from the cardiac monitor in order to do the epidural so the RN was coming back in to hook my wife up and take some more vital signs.

After a couple minutes my wife noticed a heartbeat or two that wasn't like the rest. So she asked the RN what those were. Before the RN could answer i told her that those were PVC's (premature ventricular contractions). *I was a Paramedic for 7 years so I'm pretty good at reading cardiac rythems :D * The RN started explaining what a PVC was and what could cause them and that they were nothing to be concerned about.

Then, as almost an after thought, the RN asked me how i know that those were PVC's and if i was a doctor or nurse, too which i replied (with a straight face) "No, but i did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night and boy do i feel good."

The RN just had this blank stare on her face and my wife started laughing. The nurse ended up just shrugging and leaving the room which only caused my wife to laugh harder. My wife ended up explaining to the RN that i was once a Paramedic and that i was joking about the Holiday Inn Express. I still don't think the nurse even understood the joke :cry:
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