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Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby muppy03 » August 27th, 2013, 1:35 am

Gary R wrote:and that would look like I was crowing.


You mean you were not? Lol

Hello everyone, good to see you all :cheers:
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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby Gary R » August 27th, 2013, 11:29 am

muppy03 wrote:
Gary R wrote:and that would look like I was crowing.


You mean you were not? Lol


Why would I crow about a 3-0 victory ? ;) :D
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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby Slim Nelson » November 15th, 2013, 11:39 pm

Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls....

A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud. I Almost feel like a hybrid.
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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby Angoid » November 26th, 2013, 9:33 am

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Any other xkcd fans here?
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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby Slim Nelson » December 10th, 2013, 7:05 pm

A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.

They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly
noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the
woman stared straight ahead.

The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and that it might offend other
diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the woman
"Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No, he didn't. He just walked in the door."
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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby muppy03 » December 18th, 2013, 4:52 am

What do you call cheese that isn't yours??????????????????























nacho cheese...................... :lol:

aw man I don't wanna taco about it............................. :D

I still got it :flower:
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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby Gary R » December 18th, 2013, 7:59 am

muppy03 wrote:I still got it :flower:


Yes, but do you really want to keep it ????? :D
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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby Wingman » December 18th, 2013, 11:28 am

Hey Muppy!! Really great to see you again! :D

Gary R wrote:
muppy03 wrote:I still got it :flower:


Yes, but do you really want to keep it ????? :D
I heard they now have medication to get rid of "it". :lol: :santa:
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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby NickZ » February 6th, 2014, 2:16 am

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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby NickZ » February 10th, 2014, 1:52 am

I was walking down the street the other day and saw this Hare Krishna crying.
So i walk's up to him and says" Why are you so upset?"
He replies " Because my Karma ran over my Dogma".
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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby NickZ » February 14th, 2014, 12:16 am

Diary of a computer lamer
July 18
I just tried to connect to America online, which I've heard is the best online service I can get. I can't connect, I don't know what is wrong.

July 19
Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am?

July 20
I bought the modem, I couldn't figure out where it goes though, it wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused.

July 21
I finally got the modem in and hooked up. A three year old next door did it for me.

July 22
The three year old kid next door hooked me up to America online for me. He's so smart.

July 23
What the heck is the internet? I thought I was on America Online, not this internet thingy. I'm confused.

July 24
The three year old kid next door showed me how to use this America Online stuff. He must be a genius at least compared to me.

July 25
I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing happened. Maybe I need to buy a microphone.

July 26
I found this thingy called Usenet. I got out of it because I'm connected to America Online, not Usenet. I went to the doctor today for my regular checkup. He says that since I connected, My brain has mysteriously shrunk to half its normal size.

July 27
These people in this Usenet thingy keep using capital letters. How do they do that? i never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard.

July 28
I found this thingy called the Usenet oracle. It says that it can answer any questions I ask it. I asked it 44 separate questions about the internet. I hope it responds soon.

July 29
I found a group called rec.humor. I decided to post this joke about why the chicken crossed the road. To get to the other side! ha ha! I wasn't sure if i posted it right so I posted it 56 more times.

July 30
I keep hearing about the World Wide Web. I didn't know spiders grew that large.

July 31
The oracle responded to my questions today. Geez, it was rude. I was so angry that I posted an angry message about it to rec.humor.oracle.d. I wasn't sure if it posted right so I posted it 22 more times.

August 1
Someone told me to read the FAQ. Geez, they didn't have to use profanity.

August 2
I just read this post called make money fast. I'm so exited, I'm going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to every newsgroup i could find.

August 3
I just made my signature file. It's only 6 pages long, So I will have to work on it some more.

August 4
I just looked at a group called alt.aol.sucks. I read a few posts and I really believe that aol should be wiped off the face of the Earth. I wonder what an "aol" is, however.

August 5
I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I've looked and looked, but I cant find that group.

August 6
Some guy suspended my account because of what i was doing. I told him I don't have an account at his bank. He's so dumb.
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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby NickZ » February 28th, 2014, 12:23 am

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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby NickZ » March 4th, 2014, 3:16 am

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Re: Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Unread postby NickZ » March 7th, 2014, 2:06 am

Who's afraid of Clowns?

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Bates 9000

Unread postby NickZ » March 9th, 2014, 3:18 am

No comment here. Warning some Explicit Language.



http://www.snotr.com/video/13035/Bates_9000
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