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Tech Support aka marriage counselor

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Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby Carolyn » January 30th, 2008, 4:17 pm

Sent to me by a friend... :)

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: FW: Computer Tech Support - HELP!

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football
5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my other favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.


Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

_____________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men often complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible
to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to
uninstall, or purge, the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings:
Alimony-Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7
to alleviate your program problems.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance!Â
Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep
3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Â Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 Once this happens,
the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install < Secretary With
Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,
Tech Support
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby Bio-Hazard » January 31st, 2008, 12:45 pm

Carolyn that is a good one :lol: I am actually in process of upgrading....having read this i might not do it. :D
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby Carolyn » January 31st, 2008, 2:29 pm

No worries BH. I am confident that your upgrade will be a great success. :D
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby gringo_pr » January 31st, 2008, 5:48 pm

No worries BH. I am confident that your upgrade will be a great success.


canned responce programed into all wife 1.0 upgrades :shock:

Gringo
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby Carolyn » January 31st, 2008, 6:01 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby ndmmxiaomayi » February 1st, 2008, 12:06 am

This is high maintenance indeed, needing Diamonds 5.0. :shock:

I may start programming a chocolate or soft toy program to replace Diamonds 5.0. :P
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby Drewcat » February 1st, 2008, 4:40 am

canned responce programed into all wife 1.0 upgrades


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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby Gary R » February 1st, 2008, 4:54 am

I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.


Personally I always use Ear Proxy (3.1) to avoid problems from the constant audio feedback with Wife 1.0 :D
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby eaglehorse » February 2nd, 2008, 8:23 am

in support of Gary's software you need to install last word 1.0 it works better good thing is wife 1.0 cannor read what the cpu is doing. :D
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby Bio-Hazard » February 2nd, 2008, 4:15 pm

Carolyn wrote:No worries BH. I am confident that your upgrade will be a great success. :D



Thanks Carolyn....i will keep you posted how it goes :D
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby Angoid » February 5th, 2008, 12:01 pm

I'm getting my upgrade next year :)

But I hear that Wife 1.0 also comes with another package called Mother-In-Law 1.0, and this has pop-up features that are designed to pop up at any time for no known or good reason whatsoever :lol:
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby Gary R » February 5th, 2008, 12:39 pm

Angoid wrote:I'm getting my upgrade next year :)

But I hear that Wife 1.0 also comes with another package called Mother-In-Law 1.0, and this has pop-up features that are designed to pop up at any time for no known or good reason whatsoever :lol:


As I recall, Mother-In-Law 1.0 is a bit like the Office Assistant in M$ Word, always popping up, always got something to say, and none of it of any help. Oh, and you can't get rid of it easily either, without uninstalling Wife 1.0. :D
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby eaglehorse » February 5th, 2008, 2:22 pm

gary wrote:Oh, and you can't get rid of it easily either, without uninstalling Wife 1.0
But won't that take half of the OS with it and leave you open to ransom ware that you cannot get rid? :D
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby Gary R » February 5th, 2008, 2:50 pm

Depends which Uninstaller you use.

I've found Hitman 3.1 to give an almost trouble free removal without any of the unwanted legacy remnants and other unwanted side issues.

Of course it's not cheap, and there can be legal issues if you don't take proper precautions when purchasing it. :D
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Re: Tech Support aka marriage counselor

Unread postby eaglehorse » February 6th, 2008, 4:47 am

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