Jokes - Please add yours to this topic

Gary R · **Posted:** Mon 30 Oct, 2006 9:22 am

Nice ones MMJ.

Someone recently brought this to my attention, enjoy. http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

MMJ · **Joined:** Thu 05 Oct, 2006 5:18 pm **Posts:** 977

That was hilarious, Gary R!

:D:D
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hammer51 · **Joined:** Mon 13 Nov, 2006 5:09 pm **Posts:** 129

Hope this does not offend anyone.. but...

I have a Springer Spaniel.
I was buying a large bag of Winalot at Tesco and was in line to checkout. A woman behind asked if I had a dog?
On impulse and thinking it was a stupid question, I told her no and that I was starting the Winalot Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't because I had ended up in hospital last time, but because I'd lost 50 pounds before I awoke in an intensive care ward, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms, I was willing to try it again.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no. I'd been sitting in the street licking my b*lls and a car hit me........

Gary R · **Posted:** Tue 21 Nov, 2006 11:19 am

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chryssi2001 · **Posted:** Sun 26 Nov, 2006 9:21 am

The best one for your favorite musiciPod Flea

MMJ · **Joined:** Thu 05 Oct, 2006 5:18 pm **Posts:** 977

chryssi2001 wrote:

The best one for your favorite musiciPod Flea

Good one!

I like how they come in tic-tak packages

chryssi2001 · **Posted:** Sun 26 Nov, 2006 3:05 pm

I liked the tik-tac boxes, and the collar lol, and....the big bag you have to use to carry all those, in order to hear some songs.

Gary R · **Posted:** Sun 26 Nov, 2006 5:40 pm

An American, an Irishman, and an Englishman are all stood at the top of the Empire State Building after having a serious night on the town.

"You know, when you've had more than 15 pints of beer you can fly", says the American, and promptly climbs over the railings and flies round the building.

"Wow" says the Irishman and climbs over himself. As he launches himself into space, instead of flying he plummets to the ground below.

The Englishman turns to the American and says "You know you're a right b*****d when you're drunk Superman!"

MMJ · **Joined:** Thu 05 Oct, 2006 5:18 pm **Posts:** 977

I don't get it

chryssi2001 · **Posted:** Sun 26 Nov, 2006 7:22 pm

Gary R wrote:

An American, an Irishman, and an Englishman are all stood at the top of the Empire State Building after having a serious night on the town.

"You know, when you've had more than 15 pints of beer you can fly", says the American, and promptly climbs over the railings and flies round the building.

"Wow" says the Irishman and climbs over himself. As he launches himself into space, instead of flying he plummets to the ground below.

The Englishman turns to the American and says "You know you're a right b*****d when you're drunk Superman!"

lol, nice one!!

Gary R · **Posted:** Thu 07 Dec, 2006 12:54 am

Not a joke, but it made me smile.

http://www.mesasoftware.com/merrychristmas.htm

chryssi2001 · **Posted:** Thu 07 Dec, 2006 7:12 am

Indeed i smiled too, i also enjoyed the Christmas song, 1st one i hear for these Christmas.
Thanks GaryR

Vino Rosso · **Posted:** Fri 08 Dec, 2006 8:36 pm

Another Christmas song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE

chryssi2001 · **Posted:** Sat 09 Dec, 2006 7:02 am

Very cute Vino

Gary R · **Posted:** Sat 09 Dec, 2006 9:31 am

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